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Do I Need to Sign a Contract Before Sex?

Do I Need to Sign a Contract Before Sex?

Talk to a group of young men about sexual violence and there’s a good chance that they will bring up a list of things that they are required to do before engaging in a sexual activity. They might talk about how they need to outright ask their partners if their...

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Teaching An Entire Nation To Respect Boundaries

Teaching An Entire Nation To Respect Boundaries

I have a “normal” job these days but I used to work as a prevention specialist.  I was one of hundreds of people throughout the country that trained young people to prevent sexual assault.  Some may think these jobs to be unnecessary but that’s far from the case when...

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Revising “Baby It’s Cold Outside” Makes Sense To Me

Revising “Baby It’s Cold Outside” Makes Sense To Me

The classic song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” has long been under fire for its messaging.  It features a rather persistent male vocalist who repeatedly rejects a female vocalist’s discomfort and attempts to leave an encounter.  He cites the harsh weather, his pride, and...

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My Reaction to “When They See Us”

My Reaction to “When They See Us”

Netflix’s “When They See Us” portrays the Central Park Five, five boys of color whowere incarcerated as teens for the rape of a White woman and ultimatelyexonerated. Ava Duvernay did her thing from the director’s chair and the actorswere phenomenal in bringing an...

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Reactions to “Surviving R. Kelly”

Reactions to “Surviving R. Kelly”

Like many, I watched Lifetime’s series “Surviving R. Kelly” and, like many, I walked away with some thoughts:Sexual and domestic violence consumes a lot of energyThis is not an original thought of mine but a survivor of a date rape once asked me to think about all of...

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It Cold Outside But Hot In Here

It Cold Outside But Hot In Here

America’s growing consciousness towards sexual assault and harassment has led to a widespread reevaluation of celebrities and cultural icons that were once widely considered to be routine and harmless. The latest idol in the cross hairs has been “Baby, It’s Cold...

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Lessons Learned from the Me Too Movement

Lessons Learned from the Me Too Movement

Lessons Learned from the Me Too Movement The Me Too Movement founded by Tarana Burke, fueled by Alyssa Milano, and executed by hundreds of survivors throughout the country, has been going strong for quite some time now.  It’s truly remarkable just how much...

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The Truth About False Accusations

The Truth About False Accusations

The Truth About False Accusations The truth of sexual violence has two sides.  There are epidemic levels of violence in America. And some people make false claims for perceived personal gain. Both are true and neither of these can be ignored. Often when I talk to...

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A Response to #MeToo

A Response to #MeToo

I consider myself fortunate that some men pulled me aside in college and asked me to lend my voice to the international movement to end sexual violence. Hearing their challenge and listening to female survivors that shared their stories with me left me in a place...

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Changing of the Guard

Changing of the Guard

I have been blessed with meeting women and men from all walks of life that have encouraged me to share my voice.  I therefore try to stay out of politics because I don’t want to risk offending anybody that might respond to my writing (though this is probably an...

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Black Men are More than Headlines

Black Men are More than Headlines

The past few months have mercifully come to an end.  It was not a good stretch of headlines for Black men and how they chose to spend their private time with women: In late June, Bill Cosby’s sexual assault trial came to a close with a mistrial. In mid July, word...

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Choosing Teams for America’s Dad

Choosing Teams for America’s Dad

It’s been quite some time since I produced a blog post so I want to thank all three of my supporters for sticking with me.  There are two big reasons that I came out of my mini retirement.  The first is that I have a shiny new website courtesy of CSquared Creative...

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Common Sense Reform

Common Sense Reform

It’s worth examining this response at this point in time given the ongoing scrutiny of the criminal justice system.  Cases such as the George Zimmerman trial and movements such as Black Lives Matter are asking questions of the criminal justice system in a very...

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Yes Means Yes Echos the Civil Rights Movement

Yes Means Yes Echos the Civil Rights Movement

Yes Means Yes Echos the Civil Rights Movement Affirmative consent policies certainly seem to be the future of the national conversation around sexual violence.  These policies require somebody who initiates sexual activity to explicitly obtain a partner’s consent. ...

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Waiting on Ida

Waiting on Ida

I used to work with an organization of men that stood against street violence in Philadelphia.  The group’s primary concern was an incredibly high murder rate gripping the city.  This was violence wherein both the victims and the perpetrators were overwhelmingly...

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